my fav bday pressie!

me gusta :)

2 original prints by Jose Pulido!! WHOOOP WHOOOOOOOP!

B.O. VS deodorant over dose

i always wanted to call my son Lynx, but i cant any more because of this stupid can of smelly gas.

nobody likes lynx. only smelly/sexually frustrated teenagers/ forever-alone- guys do.

why? well watch the following ads

wanna get it on with skanky air hostesses or falling angels? their pussies is only a spray away!!!

its so easy to fool smelly people... especially when they are desperate to get rid of their virginity.

look, im human too, im not gonna pretend that i never get smelly and that my shit smells of vanilla and caramel. to me, BO prevention is very straight forward and logical: ur armpits are gonna be sweaty and smelly? well then put some roll - on deodorant in ur pits and stop em from getting sweaty in the first place!

YOU GO TO THE SOURCE!
when theres a fire in your house, u locate the source and put it out, u dont go prancing around in your garden watering plants + picking weeds.

sadly, some people just dont get it.

guys, not just teenage boys im telling you, love drowning their BO with cans and cans of lynx. it certainly makes no sense to me but  i guess to them, there is some sort of logic to it..

" if one spray= 1 hot chick, 3 cans= 10 villages of insatiable whores!!!!WHOOOOP!"

WHY MASKING YOUR BO WITH CANS OF DEODORANT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO ME


you wanna know why? here's why:

theres a rotting dead fish in your room and it is starting to stink up the whole house. 
Would you:


a. find the fish, curse it, then chuck it into your neighbour's bin.


b. make a concoction of diarrhoea and blue cheese and smear it all over the walls in the hope that no one would smell the dead fish.

if you choose b, congratulations, you are gonna be the following guy forever:

toilets are suspicious when their lids are down.

 i am very picky when it comes to toilet stalls. if it doesnt satisfy my requirements, i would just walk out (even if my bowels/bladder is literally miliseconds to explosion)

when toilets have their lids down, my brain automatically classifies them as suspicious and would try to avoid lifting their lids up at all cost. look, im not being over paranoid ( yea right). when the flush doesnt work, most people would frantically try to find ways to hide their giant turd baby. 

' omg omg what should i do? all the people in the queue out there are gonna judge me! I MUST HIDE THIS PIECE OF SHIT and make it disappear!'

i guess in this sort of scenario, u have 4 options: 

1. turn it into something else ( turning solid poo into poo slushy does not count)

2. hide it ( behind the toilet, in ur purse, in ur back pocket etc)

3. put the lid down and pretend that ur not the mother of that giant turd.

4. have a staring contest with ur shit while trying to hope that the dysfunctional pump would suddenly come back to life.

unfortunately most of these people arent magicians from vegas. turning shit into a happy white pigeon is totally out of the question. it is not surprising that 99.99% of the people would choose Option 3. the extremely guilty would even bury their poo with a meter of toilet paper and have a 1 min silence. 

i say: moderately guilty

good enough for beginners

and thats the reason why i dont lift the lid up when its down. 

there is an exception for this though. for those of you who have used toilets on planes would know how scary it is to flush the toilet for the very first time. now the toilet lid here actually acts as a gun silencer/ shield to protect you from being sucked out of the plane with your own excrement when you flush.

this is what happens when u dont put the lid down.

next time when u see a covered toilet, it is probably not as innocent as you think.