Monday, September 13, 2010

indian toilet



was listening to jai- ho by PCD and that song reminded me of Slumdog Millionaire.... which reminded me of this scene at the start of the movie where that indian kid had to jump into a sea of poo and piss just to see his fav bollywood star.

yes ur right. thats where i got my inspiration from. lets talk about indian toilets shall we?

i didnt noe shitting on a toilet is a luxury until i went to india for the first time when i was 17. i was sooooo put off by it that i literally stopped drinking water throughout the day until i get home at night. now as we all know, indians eat with their right and wipe their ass with their left. (sorry lefties, yup u may have just swallowed some of ur own poo with that butter chicken! )

u go in there and the first thing u notice is... THE STENCH...... hmmmm
then when u open ur eyes, u see a super wet floor. as much as i tried to convince myself that its just spilled mineral water, i just... i just.... man, its urine.... i really dont understand how ppl can pee /shit without getting their saris wet!!

anyways. i always tip toe my way into the bathroom (thus minimizing the surface area exposed to the disgusting floor). although this works, it significantly upsets ur balance so be careful or else u will end up like the kid from slumdog.

now after uve done ur business, turn around and u shall see a tap and a bucket. yup the TAP is your TOILET PAPER and no the BUCKET is NOT a souvenir. so give ur butt a bit of a wash and then slowly, yes slowwwwwly stand up and pull the string down to flush the toilet... make sure  u use ur right hand this time or else ull get shit all over the handle.....

shit shat shatted :)

2 comments:

  1. baaaaaahaaha !! very useful tripadvisor tip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i thought tip-toes + squatting + pissing ( accurately) is impossible but hey never underestimate ur body's capabilities :D who noes? one day u may have to try to shit while hopping with one leg + do calculus with ur nose:D

      Delete

please leave a message after the tone.
BEEEEEEEEP!