Wednesday, March 21, 2012

toilets are suspicious when their lids are down.

 i am very picky when it comes to toilet stalls. if it doesnt satisfy my requirements, i would just walk out (even if my bowels/bladder is literally miliseconds to explosion)

when toilets have their lids down, my brain automatically classifies them as suspicious and would try to avoid lifting their lids up at all cost. look, im not being over paranoid ( yea right). when the flush doesnt work, most people would frantically try to find ways to hide their giant turd baby. 

' omg omg what should i do? all the people in the queue out there are gonna judge me! I MUST HIDE THIS PIECE OF SHIT and make it disappear!'

i guess in this sort of scenario, u have 4 options: 
1. turn it into something else ( turning solid poo into poo slushy does not count)
2. hide it ( behind the toilet, in ur purse, in ur back pocket etc)
3. put the lid down and pretend that ur not the mother of that giant turd.
4. have a staring contest with ur shit while trying to hope that the dysfunctional pump would suddenly come back to life.

unfortunately most of these people arent magicians from vegas. turning shit into a happy white pigeon is totally out of the question. it is not surprising that 99.99% of the people would choose Option 3. the extremely guilty would even bury their poo with a meter of toilet paper and have a 1 min silence

i say: moderately guilty

good enough for beginners

and thats the reason why i dont lift the lid up when its down. 

there is an exception for this though. for those of you who have used toilets on planes would know how scary it is to flush the toilet for the very first time. now the toilet lid here actually acts as a gun silencer/ shield to protect you from being sucked out of the plane with your own excrement when you flush.

this is what happens when u dont put the lid down.

next time when u see a covered toilet, it is probably not as innocent as you think.


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